Friday, November 16, 2012

Listen to Your Heart but Don't Let Your Emotions Vote!

These are Tips #3 and #4 about how to handle some of the stress in our lives. A large part of stress for me is dealing with my emotions as I take some of the crazy punches in life. We are all emotional beings living in a fast-paced, rambunctious world. It is difficult to stay calm and make rational decisions when your entire being is screaming, "That's not fair!" Its normal to feel frustrated, angry or hurt. I'm not saying that your emotions don't matter. I'm just saying that there is a big difference between  listening to what our heart is telling us to do and reacting to how we feel about something. The first is a  a "gut instinct" while the second is a wishy-washy "emotion." They are very different!


Tip #3 Listen to Your Heart
I've learned that when my head is quiet, I can hear my heart. Calm down, take a few deep breaths, even wait for a few hours before you react to something that gets you emotionally excited. It is our inner being that gives us that balanced sense of what is right or wrong for us, but our emotions can override that wisdom. When you feel a calmness within you (whether you like the answer or not) that is your "gut instinct" winning out over how you feel about the situation. So take the time to walk away from the situation, calm your emotions and listen to your inner voice.

Tip #4 Don't Let Your Emotions Vote
Let's be really honest here.... Our emotions fluctuate throughout the day depending on the situations we face. They are a flashing billboard that says, "Your senses have now officially been overloaded!" When this happens it should be a warning to you that No Decisions Should Be Made until Further Notice! Think about your reactions to the following daily situations:


  • You wake up startled and find your alarm didn't go off.... (Oh, Dang! Hurry!!)
  • You wait and wait in line at the coffee hut, while some Bozo in front of you orders 2 of everything on the menu. You get to the window very upset and find out that Bozo paid for your order..... (Grumpy face.... Warm heart.)
  • The person in front of you insists on driving 5 miles per hour BELOW the speed limit and you can't get around them. You finally get a second lane, they cut you off again and make the next light leaving you sitting there.... (Grrrr!)
  • Nothing is going right at work. You're getting really frustrated. The boss calls you in (busted) and to your surprise, gives you a raise and a nice pat on the back... (OMGosh! Shocked!)
  • You arrive home after an exhausting day to find the house clean, flowers on the table and dinner made.... (Awwwe..... So loved.)

While emotions are a necessary for us to feel compassionate toward one another and to warn us of potential dangers lying ahead, they are also proven to be a terrible basis for making good decisions. When you feel emotionally overwhelmed try the following:

  1. Remind yourself that emotions are a temporary response to an overwhelming situation
  2. Breathe and regain your perspective
  3. Use the emotional response to tune into your "gut instinct" (Think before you act!)
  4. Weigh your options listening to your heart and inner wisdom
  5. Guide your emotions back to a confident level by making a wise decision
We were created with emotions on purpose. It is our job to tune into them enough to understand why they have brought such a response upon us, but also to use that alert system to guide our thoughts back to a rational decision making process. Everyone experiences ups and downs in life. Listen to your heart and don't let your emotions vote!

Kim Hoff, Hope Coach









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